Hey Guys!  Today was Day 14 and the goal of the day (which I read just now) was to "spend today believing you were totally responsible for everything that has happened in your life so far" as well as "imagining work that is fulfilling, meaningful, and profitable every day from here forward."  I will also be carrying this challenge into tomorrow since I am about to go to sleep soon and want to focus more on it.

Believing that I am totally responsible for everything that has happened in my life is hard for me to do.  My favorite thing to do was to first off try to find loopholes to make others culpable, and secondly to blame other people for circumstances I let happen to me.  Remember how I was telling you about how I am so indecisive I just don't decide things, well then I blame people for the circumstances that come out of that.  For example, if I was in a conversation where I didn't feel comfortable, but I didn't know if I should leave it or not, then I wouldn't decide to leave it, and then blame the other person for the pain and harm I suffered from the conversation. 

I even believed (trying not to now) that I was not responsible for the low pay I have been having.  I am telling myself now that I am responsible for this.  I'm not going to blame anyone for this. 

I fight accepting responsibility in for everything that has happened sometimes because I have been angry at someone for never apologizing.  I was angry that I was always to blame in the situations and that the other person never admitted any wrongs.  It was about this same time in my life I really sought out the loopholes and blame game since I was so angry.  I need to accept responsibility for this too.  Also it's probably a little human nature to do this too.

Well that's all for tonight.  I'll let you know more what I think tomorrow!