Day 9

I can't believe its day nine already! 39 more to go.  I'm so glad this is a step by step process.  I really need that because it would be so hard to do on my own.

I am very indecisive.  I think that it is a problem I have.  I'm not to sure how to fix it yet but I hope that following the steps will help me.  I agree that if you keep doing what you've been doing, you'll keep getting what you've been getting.  I'm going to change then and agree that 48 days is enough time to walk the 5 step process of evaluating decisions.  Even two weeks is enough to decide for some things like Dan Miller and his wife do.  Since you may not know me really well, this is a huge thing for me to say.  I have been long been struggling with indecision.  My biggest problem that contributes to indecision is what if new information arrives to change the decision.  Another problem is not wanting to take responsibility.   Also I'm a phlegmatic personality. I'm going to have to change this if I want to be successful.

Usually decisions take me forever.  I like to contrive ways not to make them, like "oh I don't care what restaurant we eat at" or "I don't know".  Most of the time I just avoid making a decision and then wander around in whatever happens as a result of me not deciding.  I'm afraid to make decisions because I'm afraid I'll make the wrong one and then something bad will happen as a result.  I sometimes take a really long time even responding to people who email me or text me a question because I'm not sure what to decide.  I don't want to be seen as foolish, really I'm just insecure.  I have lost many opportunities and strained relationships as a result of my indecision.  One example is I was indecisive on whether or not I should be roommates my senior year in college with my best friend in an apartment, or with someone in the dorm ministry at the bsu.  As a result, in "sanctified ignorance" and indecision, I became roommates with the girl from dorm ministries and it did not go well as we were not good for each other.  I have many other examples of this in my life as well.  I'm afraid of repeating history and I'm not sure what to do to change.  Sometimes I just want to be sure I'm making the right choice and I usually never feel that way.  This needs to change.  I need to be decisive and make good choices and stick with them. 

I think indecision has crippled me because I have not ever really sunk into something, fighting and scraping for any decision until last summer.  That's what when I started learning how to be more decisive, and if I could be the assistant director for the summer program again, it would definitely be something I would be more.  I think I want to change that in my life too.

Answers to Countdown to the Work I Love
1.  Recently I have become more of a goal setter.  I avoided doing so for a long time because I didn't know what would happen if I didn't meet my goal, or if it didn't come to pass maybe I was afraid of failure and afraid of being cocky if I succeeded. I'm still afraid success and praise will go to my head and I will be headed for a fall then.
2. My current focus on work is to learn how to be more sociable and business oriented. Also I am learning leadership skills.
3.  I like to play the violin, read books, sometimes do craft projects, do summer projects (48 days is my project this summer.  Usually I pick a topic of interest like sailing or coffee and learn as much as I can in the summer about it), cooking sometimes, movies, hanging out with friends.  That's about it for hobbies.  As far as skills and interests, I can learn any language, aside from English I have learned two other languages very well as well as parts of two others and phrases in two more.  If I hear it, I can usually remember it and use it.  I am interested in many subjects, in fact I think I will try about any subject unless there are questions about the morality of the subject.  I love traveling and seeing new things.
4.  I don't know if I really involved in my community.  I go to church, Bible study, and I work at a cafe and see a lot of people.  I'm with friends as well and call my parents.  That's about it.
5.  My father's attitude towards work was that it was something you submitted to for the sake of the provision of your family.  My Dad worked long hours and really focused on doing his job well.  Now he gets to work in a place where he's wanted to work for many years.  The affect this had on me first is that I think it made me a good business person.  My Dad's business advice has always been sound and some of the best conversations we have are when he is giving me business advice.  His work has had him traveling quite a bit.  As a result, I tend to do the same thing sometimes, withdraw from other life activities and focus primarily on work.  My Mom's attitude towards work is a little different.  She is a homemaker and so a lot of her work has been caring for our needs and taking us where we needed to go and so forth.   She also likes to work on projects.  She manages to do a lot that doesn't always get noticed, like paying the bills, cleaning around the house, coordinating schedules, and probably much more.  Mom always just sort of did the work and did it well even if she never got a thank you. So pretty much I have awesome parents.  I've not always viewed their efforts in a positive light, but these are the affects their work has had on me.