Hey Guys! Today was Day 14 and the goal of the day (which I read just now) was to "spend today believing you were totally responsible for everything that has happened in your life so far" as well as "imagining work that is fulfilling, meaningful, and profitable every day from here forward." I will also be carrying this challenge into tomorrow since I am about to go to sleep soon and want to focus more on it.
Believing that I am totally responsible for everything that has happened in my life is hard for me to do. My favorite thing to do was to first off try to find loopholes to make others culpable, and secondly to blame other people for circumstances I let happen to me. Remember how I was telling you about how I am so indecisive I just don't decide things, well then I blame people for the circumstances that come out of that. For example, if I was in a conversation where I didn't feel comfortable, but I didn't know if I should leave it or not, then I wouldn't decide to leave it, and then blame the other person for the pain and harm I suffered from the conversation.
I even believed (trying not to now) that I was not responsible for the low pay I have been having. I am telling myself now that I am responsible for this. I'm not going to blame anyone for this.
I fight accepting responsibility in for everything that has happened sometimes because I have been angry at someone for never apologizing. I was angry that I was always to blame in the situations and that the other person never admitted any wrongs. It was about this same time in my life I really sought out the loopholes and blame game since I was so angry. I need to accept responsibility for this too. Also it's probably a little human nature to do this too.
Well that's all for tonight. I'll let you know more what I think tomorrow!
Thursday, June 21, 2012
I'm so thankful to be back in my account! For those of you who don't know, I was locked out of my account since last night and was able to reset my password today. I posted my blog on my 48days.net page and I'll repost it here. I'll be back later tonight for Day 14. :)
Hey guys! I'm just posting my blog here today for all
of you keeping me accountable to blog my journey through 48 Days to the
Work You Love. For some reason tonight I am locked out of my blogger
acct thisismyjourneyto.blogspot.com and so I am posting here until I can
figure out what I did and how I can fix it. Computers....
Today was Day 13 and today's activity was to look inward and answer the questions at the end of Chapter 5 (http://www.48days.com/store/48daysbook/). Here are my answers.
1. When the setting is positive, people are loving and caring, problem solving, people are allowed to make mistakes (not "sanctioned incompetence" however), working with people, creative, quiet, take your time.
2. I listen to them and do what they ask me to do. I think they make good and right decisions.
3. Freedom, give them outlines and expect them to work with responsibility, not fight about non-essentials. Culture and attitudes are the most important part for me.
4. In this order, ideas, people, things
5. Mostly analytical, detailed and logical. I do like problem solving.
6. I like variety and new challenges in a steady and predictable environment/situation.
7. I am verbal and persuasive also a caring listener.
8. Smart, logical, nice, sweet, languages
9. Faith, Sow, Attach, Learner, Rest
10. She was loving and caring and attaching. She solved problems, planted ideas, and sowed good things.
That's all for today. Hopefully I will figure out what I did soon and repost this on the usual site. Thanks for your patience and understanding.
Today was Day 13 and today's activity was to look inward and answer the questions at the end of Chapter 5 (http://www.48days.com/store/48daysbook/). Here are my answers.
1. When the setting is positive, people are loving and caring, problem solving, people are allowed to make mistakes (not "sanctioned incompetence" however), working with people, creative, quiet, take your time.
2. I listen to them and do what they ask me to do. I think they make good and right decisions.
3. Freedom, give them outlines and expect them to work with responsibility, not fight about non-essentials. Culture and attitudes are the most important part for me.
4. In this order, ideas, people, things
5. Mostly analytical, detailed and logical. I do like problem solving.
6. I like variety and new challenges in a steady and predictable environment/situation.
7. I am verbal and persuasive also a caring listener.
8. Smart, logical, nice, sweet, languages
9. Faith, Sow, Attach, Learner, Rest
10. She was loving and caring and attaching. She solved problems, planted ideas, and sowed good things.
That's all for today. Hopefully I will figure out what I did soon and repost this on the usual site. Thanks for your patience and understanding.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Today was Day 12 and the goal was to list my dreams and passions. I'm still trying to figuring these out and here are some I came up with today.
Playing music for an audience
Preforming
Being home
Being loved
Learning another language
Translation
I have translated and learned languages my whole life. I was 5 when my neighbor went to France and wrote me "I'm starting to think my thoughts in French". I was very struck with the idea that someone else had thoughts not in English and I would try to imagine myself talking it, or how it sounded. I really did try to learn a language I didn't know any words in. There are home videos of me talking make up words and singing made up piano songs like I was from China or some place foreign. Then my sister started talking and she had a speech impediment when she was young and I translated for her. We would communicate and I would translate for her. Then I actually started learning languages. I have had several programs as well as grade school, middle school, high school, and college language learning. That was also primarily how I got through school, I would say to myself that if the professor was presenting material I disagreed with (since I wasn't allowed to disagree), I would just find a way to say back to the professor in other words, what he was saying all the time. This really is just so totally me as to not to be divided by anything else.
I like traveling.
I love being around positive people. I thrive when I am around positive people in a positive environment. I am mostly a follower in this regard.
I like it when other people help me know what to do with my time. Structure, routine, and schedule in general are good guidelines for me. I have a hard time knowing what to do when I have unscheduled time or how to break that time up into what needs to be done.
I love learning. That's another area I have loved my whole life.
Teaching
Leading
I love reading. When I was younger I read so many books. I still read so much.
Family
I have often felt learning languages was impractical as a career because there has to be some purpose in learning the languages for it to be a career. That's where I need to understand what the purpose is. I think I understand my unique offering is (learning languages and translation) like when I translate to people what they are really meaning to say, and I need to find the purpose that I really believe in and stand behind. I'm really afraid of some areas in language learning because of the constant negatives that I would be surrounded by. What I am seeking is a positive purpose for the unique offering I have. I'm not saying that I won't ever have a bad day, or that other people won't either, what I mean is that the subject material I am constantly dealing in is positive in nature and if there are negatives they can be talked about (unlike in for example a court translation setting where that is not permitted). That's where I am right now. I think one of the biggest factors for me work wise is a positive environment where making mistakes is allowed and perfection is not the measuring stick while not "sanctioning incompetence". The culture of the company is the biggest factor for me work wise.
Playing music for an audience
Preforming
Being home
Being loved
Learning another language
Translation
I have translated and learned languages my whole life. I was 5 when my neighbor went to France and wrote me "I'm starting to think my thoughts in French". I was very struck with the idea that someone else had thoughts not in English and I would try to imagine myself talking it, or how it sounded. I really did try to learn a language I didn't know any words in. There are home videos of me talking make up words and singing made up piano songs like I was from China or some place foreign. Then my sister started talking and she had a speech impediment when she was young and I translated for her. We would communicate and I would translate for her. Then I actually started learning languages. I have had several programs as well as grade school, middle school, high school, and college language learning. That was also primarily how I got through school, I would say to myself that if the professor was presenting material I disagreed with (since I wasn't allowed to disagree), I would just find a way to say back to the professor in other words, what he was saying all the time. This really is just so totally me as to not to be divided by anything else.
I like traveling.
I love being around positive people. I thrive when I am around positive people in a positive environment. I am mostly a follower in this regard.
I like it when other people help me know what to do with my time. Structure, routine, and schedule in general are good guidelines for me. I have a hard time knowing what to do when I have unscheduled time or how to break that time up into what needs to be done.
I love learning. That's another area I have loved my whole life.
Teaching
Leading
I love reading. When I was younger I read so many books. I still read so much.
Family
I have often felt learning languages was impractical as a career because there has to be some purpose in learning the languages for it to be a career. That's where I need to understand what the purpose is. I think I understand my unique offering is (learning languages and translation) like when I translate to people what they are really meaning to say, and I need to find the purpose that I really believe in and stand behind. I'm really afraid of some areas in language learning because of the constant negatives that I would be surrounded by. What I am seeking is a positive purpose for the unique offering I have. I'm not saying that I won't ever have a bad day, or that other people won't either, what I mean is that the subject material I am constantly dealing in is positive in nature and if there are negatives they can be talked about (unlike in for example a court translation setting where that is not permitted). That's where I am right now. I think one of the biggest factors for me work wise is a positive environment where making mistakes is allowed and perfection is not the measuring stick while not "sanctioning incompetence". The culture of the company is the biggest factor for me work wise.
Monday, June 18, 2012
So today is Day 11 and also I spent the weekend digging into my personality traits.
I am definitely Number 3, Steadiness (Amiable)-Golden Retriever/Dove. I am especially this when it comes to avoiding conflict which I usually do at all costs. I am also a follower in many respects, as well as a leader in others. I follow mostly what I see people do, who I'm around a lot, however, if the situation becomes wrong, or I get an opportunity to pick, I am happy to decide for everyone. I feel a strong sense of responsibility yet as I have been saying earlier, I am really indecisive and kind of a perfectionist. So, I'm kind of a paradox.
As far as skills and abilities I tried to think of the ones that gave me pleasure when being used and I thought of playing music, languages (French), and learning.
I am still thinking about my values, dreams and passions, and also I am praying for healing from subtle control to obscure or confuse my direction. I feel this has happened to me in the past in school and I have tried to blend in and be more like everyone else. Also I have had a lot of experiences that were hard to relate to, but really everyone has had experiences like that or felt like that at some point so, it's not an excuse.
I'll be sure to ask my friends how they see me through their eyes. My employers have been clear that I am a good worker, someone who handles herself well in stressful situations, responsible, and smart. It should be really insightful to see what my friends say they see me as or even my parents. I need to think of people more as unique, and break the old cookie cutter, perfectionistic mindset.
I hope you guys are having a good Monday! Is there anything I could help you with, or talk about more?
I am definitely Number 3, Steadiness (Amiable)-Golden Retriever/Dove. I am especially this when it comes to avoiding conflict which I usually do at all costs. I am also a follower in many respects, as well as a leader in others. I follow mostly what I see people do, who I'm around a lot, however, if the situation becomes wrong, or I get an opportunity to pick, I am happy to decide for everyone. I feel a strong sense of responsibility yet as I have been saying earlier, I am really indecisive and kind of a perfectionist. So, I'm kind of a paradox.
As far as skills and abilities I tried to think of the ones that gave me pleasure when being used and I thought of playing music, languages (French), and learning.
I am still thinking about my values, dreams and passions, and also I am praying for healing from subtle control to obscure or confuse my direction. I feel this has happened to me in the past in school and I have tried to blend in and be more like everyone else. Also I have had a lot of experiences that were hard to relate to, but really everyone has had experiences like that or felt like that at some point so, it's not an excuse.
I'll be sure to ask my friends how they see me through their eyes. My employers have been clear that I am a good worker, someone who handles herself well in stressful situations, responsible, and smart. It should be really insightful to see what my friends say they see me as or even my parents. I need to think of people more as unique, and break the old cookie cutter, perfectionistic mindset.
I hope you guys are having a good Monday! Is there anything I could help you with, or talk about more?
Friday, June 15, 2012
Happy Day 10!
I've said it before, and I'll probably say it again, I love this chapter!
I really need to work on knowing myself in the three areas Miller mentions, I tend to be a generalist.
I keep thinking of the point Miller made in another chapter about emotions signaling imbalance when I was reading about "divine discontent". I'm not sure I fully understand what Miller is trying to say through the Emerson quote because it was a little over my head, but I think what it means is that change is something that happens? I always have thought constancy was a virtue, that there are areas in your life that you will be more or less the same in, and it is true that change is always happening if we want it to or not.
Maybe this is a personality thing, but I have frequently wished for constancy. Maybe there is a paradox between the need to change, and the need to have constancy. Maybe I also need to consider the possibility that the only constant is change.
I will be working on understanding myself better in these three areas and try to share what I have learned through introspection here. My goal this weekend is to think on these three areas.
Well, that's all for tonight. Have a good weekend!
I've said it before, and I'll probably say it again, I love this chapter!
I really need to work on knowing myself in the three areas Miller mentions, I tend to be a generalist.
I keep thinking of the point Miller made in another chapter about emotions signaling imbalance when I was reading about "divine discontent". I'm not sure I fully understand what Miller is trying to say through the Emerson quote because it was a little over my head, but I think what it means is that change is something that happens? I always have thought constancy was a virtue, that there are areas in your life that you will be more or less the same in, and it is true that change is always happening if we want it to or not.
Maybe this is a personality thing, but I have frequently wished for constancy. Maybe there is a paradox between the need to change, and the need to have constancy. Maybe I also need to consider the possibility that the only constant is change.
I will be working on understanding myself better in these three areas and try to share what I have learned through introspection here. My goal this weekend is to think on these three areas.
Well, that's all for tonight. Have a good weekend!
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Day 9
I can't believe its day nine already! 39 more to go. I'm so glad this is a step by step process. I really need that because it would be so hard to do on my own.
I am very indecisive. I think that it is a problem I have. I'm not to sure how to fix it yet but I hope that following the steps will help me. I agree that if you keep doing what you've been doing, you'll keep getting what you've been getting. I'm going to change then and agree that 48 days is enough time to walk the 5 step process of evaluating decisions. Even two weeks is enough to decide for some things like Dan Miller and his wife do. Since you may not know me really well, this is a huge thing for me to say. I have been long been struggling with indecision. My biggest problem that contributes to indecision is what if new information arrives to change the decision. Another problem is not wanting to take responsibility. Also I'm a phlegmatic personality. I'm going to have to change this if I want to be successful.
Usually decisions take me forever. I like to contrive ways not to make them, like "oh I don't care what restaurant we eat at" or "I don't know". Most of the time I just avoid making a decision and then wander around in whatever happens as a result of me not deciding. I'm afraid to make decisions because I'm afraid I'll make the wrong one and then something bad will happen as a result. I sometimes take a really long time even responding to people who email me or text me a question because I'm not sure what to decide. I don't want to be seen as foolish, really I'm just insecure. I have lost many opportunities and strained relationships as a result of my indecision. One example is I was indecisive on whether or not I should be roommates my senior year in college with my best friend in an apartment, or with someone in the dorm ministry at the bsu. As a result, in "sanctified ignorance" and indecision, I became roommates with the girl from dorm ministries and it did not go well as we were not good for each other. I have many other examples of this in my life as well. I'm afraid of repeating history and I'm not sure what to do to change. Sometimes I just want to be sure I'm making the right choice and I usually never feel that way. This needs to change. I need to be decisive and make good choices and stick with them.
I think indecision has crippled me because I have not ever really sunk into something, fighting and scraping for any decision until last summer. That's what when I started learning how to be more decisive, and if I could be the assistant director for the summer program again, it would definitely be something I would be more. I think I want to change that in my life too.
Answers to Countdown to the Work I Love
1. Recently I have become more of a goal setter. I avoided doing so for a long time because I didn't know what would happen if I didn't meet my goal, or if it didn't come to pass maybe I was afraid of failure and afraid of being cocky if I succeeded. I'm still afraid success and praise will go to my head and I will be headed for a fall then.
2. My current focus on work is to learn how to be more sociable and business oriented. Also I am learning leadership skills.
3. I like to play the violin, read books, sometimes do craft projects, do summer projects (48 days is my project this summer. Usually I pick a topic of interest like sailing or coffee and learn as much as I can in the summer about it), cooking sometimes, movies, hanging out with friends. That's about it for hobbies. As far as skills and interests, I can learn any language, aside from English I have learned two other languages very well as well as parts of two others and phrases in two more. If I hear it, I can usually remember it and use it. I am interested in many subjects, in fact I think I will try about any subject unless there are questions about the morality of the subject. I love traveling and seeing new things.
4. I don't know if I really involved in my community. I go to church, Bible study, and I work at a cafe and see a lot of people. I'm with friends as well and call my parents. That's about it.
5. My father's attitude towards work was that it was something you submitted to for the sake of the provision of your family. My Dad worked long hours and really focused on doing his job well. Now he gets to work in a place where he's wanted to work for many years. The affect this had on me first is that I think it made me a good business person. My Dad's business advice has always been sound and some of the best conversations we have are when he is giving me business advice. His work has had him traveling quite a bit. As a result, I tend to do the same thing sometimes, withdraw from other life activities and focus primarily on work. My Mom's attitude towards work is a little different. She is a homemaker and so a lot of her work has been caring for our needs and taking us where we needed to go and so forth. She also likes to work on projects. She manages to do a lot that doesn't always get noticed, like paying the bills, cleaning around the house, coordinating schedules, and probably much more. Mom always just sort of did the work and did it well even if she never got a thank you. So pretty much I have awesome parents. I've not always viewed their efforts in a positive light, but these are the affects their work has had on me.
I can't believe its day nine already! 39 more to go. I'm so glad this is a step by step process. I really need that because it would be so hard to do on my own.
I am very indecisive. I think that it is a problem I have. I'm not to sure how to fix it yet but I hope that following the steps will help me. I agree that if you keep doing what you've been doing, you'll keep getting what you've been getting. I'm going to change then and agree that 48 days is enough time to walk the 5 step process of evaluating decisions. Even two weeks is enough to decide for some things like Dan Miller and his wife do. Since you may not know me really well, this is a huge thing for me to say. I have been long been struggling with indecision. My biggest problem that contributes to indecision is what if new information arrives to change the decision. Another problem is not wanting to take responsibility. Also I'm a phlegmatic personality. I'm going to have to change this if I want to be successful.
Usually decisions take me forever. I like to contrive ways not to make them, like "oh I don't care what restaurant we eat at" or "I don't know". Most of the time I just avoid making a decision and then wander around in whatever happens as a result of me not deciding. I'm afraid to make decisions because I'm afraid I'll make the wrong one and then something bad will happen as a result. I sometimes take a really long time even responding to people who email me or text me a question because I'm not sure what to decide. I don't want to be seen as foolish, really I'm just insecure. I have lost many opportunities and strained relationships as a result of my indecision. One example is I was indecisive on whether or not I should be roommates my senior year in college with my best friend in an apartment, or with someone in the dorm ministry at the bsu. As a result, in "sanctified ignorance" and indecision, I became roommates with the girl from dorm ministries and it did not go well as we were not good for each other. I have many other examples of this in my life as well. I'm afraid of repeating history and I'm not sure what to do to change. Sometimes I just want to be sure I'm making the right choice and I usually never feel that way. This needs to change. I need to be decisive and make good choices and stick with them.
I think indecision has crippled me because I have not ever really sunk into something, fighting and scraping for any decision until last summer. That's what when I started learning how to be more decisive, and if I could be the assistant director for the summer program again, it would definitely be something I would be more. I think I want to change that in my life too.
Answers to Countdown to the Work I Love
1. Recently I have become more of a goal setter. I avoided doing so for a long time because I didn't know what would happen if I didn't meet my goal, or if it didn't come to pass maybe I was afraid of failure and afraid of being cocky if I succeeded. I'm still afraid success and praise will go to my head and I will be headed for a fall then.
2. My current focus on work is to learn how to be more sociable and business oriented. Also I am learning leadership skills.
3. I like to play the violin, read books, sometimes do craft projects, do summer projects (48 days is my project this summer. Usually I pick a topic of interest like sailing or coffee and learn as much as I can in the summer about it), cooking sometimes, movies, hanging out with friends. That's about it for hobbies. As far as skills and interests, I can learn any language, aside from English I have learned two other languages very well as well as parts of two others and phrases in two more. If I hear it, I can usually remember it and use it. I am interested in many subjects, in fact I think I will try about any subject unless there are questions about the morality of the subject. I love traveling and seeing new things.
4. I don't know if I really involved in my community. I go to church, Bible study, and I work at a cafe and see a lot of people. I'm with friends as well and call my parents. That's about it.
5. My father's attitude towards work was that it was something you submitted to for the sake of the provision of your family. My Dad worked long hours and really focused on doing his job well. Now he gets to work in a place where he's wanted to work for many years. The affect this had on me first is that I think it made me a good business person. My Dad's business advice has always been sound and some of the best conversations we have are when he is giving me business advice. His work has had him traveling quite a bit. As a result, I tend to do the same thing sometimes, withdraw from other life activities and focus primarily on work. My Mom's attitude towards work is a little different. She is a homemaker and so a lot of her work has been caring for our needs and taking us where we needed to go and so forth. She also likes to work on projects. She manages to do a lot that doesn't always get noticed, like paying the bills, cleaning around the house, coordinating schedules, and probably much more. Mom always just sort of did the work and did it well even if she never got a thank you. So pretty much I have awesome parents. I've not always viewed their efforts in a positive light, but these are the affects their work has had on me.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Day 8
I loved Chapter 4! It was super insightful. I learned that some of the emotions I have been feeling recently are probably a sign that something is out of balance in my life. I don't know what out of balance yet but it helps to know that is a symptom of something going on. I am totally dealing with "sanctified ignorance" in my life. That's what I do totally. I really need to have a defined goal.
Does anyone else struggle with taking responsibility for their own life? You're still responsible for it even if you don't want to take responsibility for it. What I do is I have emotions, then I have uncertainty, then I don't want responsibility. There's no undoing being born, and having responsibility for my life so I need to just try to take it and get a focused game plan and be responsible for what's going on in my life.
I want to look at ordinary as well as extraordinary ways to use my gifts and skills. Sometimes I feel pressure to be extraordinary. Maybe that's because I'm smart and that's what I think people expect of me. For example I love playing the violin. I've been in the 2nd violin section most of the time. I would always try to come up with strategies of becoming first violin like practicing hours on end, putting my heart into it, having a right heart attitude about it, asking the director to take or retake "challenge tests" to move up to the first violin section. It's not that I don't play well or enjoy it, it's that I was trying to be extraordinary in an area where I might just be ordinary. I have had some real moments of being extraordinary and I need to grow in the ordinary as well. Are we extraordinary in moments or areas? I might not be extraordinary at everything but I can be successful in all areas.
Personal Checkup
1. Yes
2. No
3. Yes
4. No
5. No
6. No
7. No
8. No
9. Yes
10. No
What deposits am I making in the 7 areas of success?
My biggest deposits now are in the areas of career and personal development. I could use a little help for the other areas. Today I was able to take a rest as well as a nice walk so that helped physically. Maybe I should try to work on one of those areas every day.
I loved Chapter 4! It was super insightful. I learned that some of the emotions I have been feeling recently are probably a sign that something is out of balance in my life. I don't know what out of balance yet but it helps to know that is a symptom of something going on. I am totally dealing with "sanctified ignorance" in my life. That's what I do totally. I really need to have a defined goal.
Does anyone else struggle with taking responsibility for their own life? You're still responsible for it even if you don't want to take responsibility for it. What I do is I have emotions, then I have uncertainty, then I don't want responsibility. There's no undoing being born, and having responsibility for my life so I need to just try to take it and get a focused game plan and be responsible for what's going on in my life.
I want to look at ordinary as well as extraordinary ways to use my gifts and skills. Sometimes I feel pressure to be extraordinary. Maybe that's because I'm smart and that's what I think people expect of me. For example I love playing the violin. I've been in the 2nd violin section most of the time. I would always try to come up with strategies of becoming first violin like practicing hours on end, putting my heart into it, having a right heart attitude about it, asking the director to take or retake "challenge tests" to move up to the first violin section. It's not that I don't play well or enjoy it, it's that I was trying to be extraordinary in an area where I might just be ordinary. I have had some real moments of being extraordinary and I need to grow in the ordinary as well. Are we extraordinary in moments or areas? I might not be extraordinary at everything but I can be successful in all areas.
Personal Checkup
1. Yes
2. No
3. Yes
4. No
5. No
6. No
7. No
8. No
9. Yes
10. No
What deposits am I making in the 7 areas of success?
My biggest deposits now are in the areas of career and personal development. I could use a little help for the other areas. Today I was able to take a rest as well as a nice walk so that helped physically. Maybe I should try to work on one of those areas every day.
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